Sometimes life walks on an edge. We all love straight lines, but at times, we travel through those hours which give us different experiences. I lately went through such a stage. My grandfather in law was spitted upon by a poisionous snake.He was 90+. He was straight away reffered to AIIMS,New Delhi. That was my first visit to the hospital.

     The emergency ward was full of exceptional cases. Every site and cry is horrifing to a normal man.Each moment my prayer wished i never encountered such a situation.Each minute i was thankful to God for giving me a life I had, devoid of such harsh situations,wishing never to be a part of them.Each second I realized the value of life.

     The impact of the surroundings was heavy on me.The rythmic sound of the life saving machines,entry of a new patient almost every 10 minutes,the moanings in pain around..............and....my grandfather..........with rotten leg,weak hands pierced with needles and his restless breathing.The machines showed no pressure in his blood.The only treatment for him was cutting of his leg which was possible only if his blood showed pressure.The chances of his survival were very less but his body was strong.Even the docs were amazed at his response.He was on bed for 5 long days and 5 long nights. 

 Human mind is devilish so had been mine.Thats how i feel....amidst all these  painful feelings,praying for myself and the family i needed,almost every moment I felt that grandfather was at his end.Every time the machine alarmed ,I felt his game was over.Not a single time the thought of his well being came to my mind.........i was aware of my feelings and surprised too but thats how i felt.My excuse was ,he will be freed from the suffering, as if i was  damn sure about it.Strange,I was talking without any experience.Was death the end to the sufferings.Well, that how I have precieved the thought through my civilization.,perhaps.

He was dying but something inside me was already dead.A depression had engulfed me.I tried to raise my spirits,convincing myself that all this was apart of life and must be faced,I tried to smile but it seemed falsey.No idea could liven me.The regular visits to the hospital,staying by dadaji's side during the day and night was depressing but one power kept me strong,my courage,my will to stand for my duties. It helped me going. All I had to ask myself was whether I was that weak?

 My mind was fetched with strange questions or i may say not so strange.Infact the human race has ever been pursuing for such answers. I wondered the reason of life, of sufferings. If we have to ultimately die then why are we born.Most important to me amongst all this was ....whether the hen came first or the egg?.........no one knows the answer to this. We all  refer it to as God's play....but why is he playing????????? This is a thought which has struck hard into my brain.

Every day and night,on my way to AIIMS, I looked at different people,situations,things that passed my way.All seemed immaterial to me...the malls .resturants, lights, parties, people enjoying. These things would otherwise uplift my moods.

Then one day just as we were about to enter the hospital, I saw a beautiful lady sitting behind a scooter. Her looks were normal, but she looked so beautiful to me,with the smile she wore.SMILE,which seemed to be a reflection of some good memory.Her smile worked wonders for me.I smiled too.A voice inside told me," see the world is happy to live…..yes, there is reason to be happy and alive."

It has been almost half an year to that incident. Dadaji breathed his last after a turmoil of 5 long days.My visits to the hospital stopped  and so did the depressing feeling. Life is on a normal track .I have forgotten those feelings of pain and fear but I still remember that beautiful Smile. Every time I think of it, I smile too.

"I don’t think of all the misery but of the beauty that still remains."

                                                                - Anne Frank